Wanksta, Indy, Arun and Me have been debating the nature of emotion and love in particular. The argument exists because a couple of us view it as a mechanistic process and some of us who don't. I am leaving it to the comments to take the argument further.
"A subtle thought that is in error may yet give rise to fruitful inquiry that can establish truths of great value. "
-Issac Asimov
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I am putting up Wanksta's articles here (taken from the previous blog entry).
Read this dude:
Do Opposites Attract?
Another one for you:
Opposites 'do not attract'
Morality and Emotions
This article goes into aspects of emotion, especially on how logic affects emotion. i think it is a worthwhile read; especially to agree upon a way of looking at emotion.
"The tragedy of love is not death or separation..how long do you think it would be before one of them ceased to care?Oh it is dreadfully bitter to look at a woman whom you have loved with all your heart and soul, so that you felt you could not bear to let her out of your sight, and realize that you would not mind if you never saw her again. The tragedy of love is indifference"
excerp from Red by Somerset Maugham..
That summarizes all I think about love and pretty dang convinced!!
"One should be happy if one got separated from his/her love when his/her love seemed to be at its height because then they would be spared of the real tragedy of love"!
In the endless continuum of time,
life,
a mere distortion,
in the vast limitlessness of space,
presence,
a speck,
among forces that ravage the universe,
will,
a pale spectre.
is existence meaningless,
is it only a struggle,
is defeat the only foreseeable end?
there are those who agree,
and those who know better.
such is life,
so is love.
Thanks Vicks,
Sorry for taking the comments offtrack....
When we talk about love, can any of us define love?
Love, as we know it has tons of attributes, but one can chiefly divide it into three phases
1)Intimacy
2)Passion
3)Commitment
Infatuations are typically associated with passion alone and cannot be considered love, like wise friendships are intimate, but thats what they are, nothing more and nothing less.
Similarly, a commitment devoid of feelings, as in the case of many women and men who stay together only for the sake of their children cannot be considered love, though they may have been married for a zillion years, it is the social structure that imposes this condition upon them and it is not out of self-will.
And also special cases where feelings are one-sided and are not mutual, i refuse to consider that as a case of love as i firmly believe that love has to be mututal and reciprocative (with the only exception being a mother)
The conditions that supposedly lead to "Realized Romantic Love" will be talked about henceforth.
Let me first elaborate about Realized Romanctic Love, Realized Romantic Love has all the three components that i had mentioned above, it represents the ideal-relationship that everyone ultimately strives for, but some may or may not achieve it due to a lot of reasons, which may range from family pressures to
cultural and racial differences.
However, when one actually acheives the above, it is not out of pure self will or cultural similarities, but it is more a result of a process of natural selection that has been subconsciously etched in our minds for millions of years.
Before i go any further, i know critics will provide me with thousands of instances, where unrequited love is cited to be as powerful and oh so true. I would like to make it clear that i am not here to argue about the merits and demerits of the different kinds of love or whatever ppl like to call them.
Love for someone is gazing at a gal in a bus stop for 4 years without even getting a chance to talk to her.
I rubbish such thoughts and would want to make it clear that EXCEPTIONS are ALWAYS present, even in the animal kingdom, when lions and tigers are placed in close quarters, they mate resulting in ligers and tigons.
In effect the point i am trying to make is that men and women who want to have a sucessfull relationship carefully choose their partners based on a variety of materialisitic parameters that are determined by their cultures.
Some of which are
1) Physical attractiveness
2) Financial status
3) Class/Social status
4) Caste/Religion
I think everyone here would acknowledge that the above are materialistic characteristics, but somehow, our brains are trained (either by the way we are brought up, our cultural surroundinds etc) that we as humans have the ability to filter out certain candidates based on the above criteria.
we may hate to admit it as we would want to sound as just as possible, but the truth is that there is no REAL SENSE OF JUSTICE here.
to be continued....
Indy...
To make a long story short, the answer to your question lies with discipline and not with love.
long story...
that is why people say it takes hard work to hold a relationship together. But it isn't such an unattainable goal to make love seem like a part of grecian tragedy.
There are many ways to think of emotion and pull it apart. But i won't do that. But what does help is discipline of thought. It not only applies to love but also anger, fear, despair, joy... in essence when applied to thought, discipline means that you do not suppress thought but allow yourself to feel certain emotions when you want to and don't feel them when you don't!
(there is a lot of literature out there that will back me up; like our body the mind can be trained too).
Anything achievement worth talking about is suffused with emotion and brought to fruition through discipline. Relationships are only one.
wanksta...
i am thinking about yours. watch this space....:-)
thinking on a tangent here. i wonder if any useful results can be obtained by discussing emotion;apart from the fact that i feel really drained out thinking about it.
speaking very vaguely, the world is a mirror. people respond to who you are; such is the nature of interaction. Viewed from this perspective, there is no absolute reality but only what you choose to construct around you. Sometimes situations are too strong for you to exercise your will but most cases lie somewhere in between i.e. you do have some power to exert.
by trying to come up with some universal explanation for love, are we unconciously give up our ability to shape our own experience? what worries me more is that with Indy's impending doom outlook and Wanksta's plug-it-in-to-the-equation outlook, the ability to experience a fluid and free emotion is lost. You are either waiting for things to fall apart or analyzing it too much.Furthermore their attitude results in a self fulfilling prophecy - their experiences will be a shadow of their thoughts and will only reinforce it. And this will be the greatest tragedy.
If a farmer looses his crop to the flood, he doesn't blame the seed. He waits for the water to drain and sows his field again and hopes things will stay right for the next crop. He doesn't write tragedies or think about why the rains came earlier than expected. If he did that, he would cease to be a farmer.
who are you?
Alone was i, sick and dying
memories blurring, lost in silence
dying to believe, indulging dalliance
my mind, leading me blind
wailing when it can
The wolves howling, with gentle ambling
in the moonlight, drifting and conviving
there, they led their bohemian dance
stripping every ounce of hope and chance
Down i lay, wounded and staggered
my devotion to all else, questioned and spurned
brooding i was, in quest for the grail
like many before me, no reason to spare
The warmth that lay amiss
now it seemed only fair
bitterness, only showed faith
with angst and despair
And lo, a blissful ride
aha a new discovery to pride
trust, love and joy
have drifted oh so wide
A surreal future awaits,
to the fading, pale and alone
weep if you must, but learn not to forget
a time shall come, when lament and remorse
will be all but comrades, an endless slumber beckons
Humans learn from their personal experiences and of those around them.
As a sentient being, i like to be in charge of my life and death, but as a logical being i realize that there are some aspects of our lives that are beyond our realm of control (weather,luck etc).
My aim in life is to make sure that we dont screw up the part of our lives that we can control, and even if we manage to screw it up...we have to make sure that we dont do it twice.
Not all experiences are blissful, some are good , some not so good.
when an ignorant child plays with fire, he learns the lesson the hard way, but its a lesson well learnt.
I do not consider life a tragedy, but i do not think of it as a romance either...i just believe we should try to keep it as real as possible..
A fool i would be,
to believe,
scars of old wounds,
words can heal.
like a village tea stall owner,
a solitary tea,
a few randy jokes,
nothing more can i offer,
always at the corner,
my copper kettle whistling,
a glass at hand,
hoping,
the bitterness of the past,
does not mar,
the sweetness of my brew.
Great poems! Really..., that is: not amateuristic, even when made by an amateur... I however feel what we need to understand when we want to know on love, and so really understand... love, we must practise first non-violence... which could be... very hard (!)... because how many times... do we lose our patience in ordinary little things already? Also i mean: love cannot be an isolated whatever... and must be more, far more..., than, so to say, [only] an emotion... And: to NOT forget all this every moment of our lives as we are living...: it is HARD but really worth a try... DO NOT GIVE UP... and keep courage... ;) And... oh... to not lose our temper every now and then! It is tough, but not impossible to learn on love... 23 July 2006... [Other]
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